Showing posts with label residencies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label residencies. Show all posts

Sunday, June 2, 2024

Consumption Diary May (incl. 2/3 of a mini-residency)

MUSIC

She's a long one this month...



PRODUCTIVITY INTERLUDE


On May 20th I flew up to Auckland (eventually my bag made it too) and took up temporary residence at the Michael King Writers Centre in Devonport.

I leave on 10 June.

When I arrived I had a 33,573 word "first draft" of a novel that I worked on in 2022. I shelved it because:
    a) I was writing it about events in 2022 such as the anti-mandate protest at Parliament and wrote ahead of those events knowing I'd need to come back to it "later", once the present of the novel that was the future at time of writing became the past for the reader.
    b) I got COVID for the first time right at the end of the first draft and:
        i) being sick meant there was a natural break between 1st draft and my next concerted efforts with the manuscript
        ii) having COVID and being slightly feverish while writing the final chaps meant I was highly skeptical that it would would be any good when reviewed with some perspective.
    c) Once you stop, it's really hard to pick something back up again with the fear of it actually being shit and no longer relevant, but also (moreso) the fact I have a full-time job and a full-time family and JUST LIFE.

At the time I finished the first draft I knew it needed to be longer, but it would probably only top out around 50-55,000 words. There's a missing persons element to the plot, and I knew that the "resolution" in the first draft was a bit dumb, and should really be more of a red herring, and that there was a bit part character in the 1st draft that wanted/needed more page-time, and maybe making them part of the real "answer" would "fix" things? 

So I really needed a solid block of time to unfuck the novel, writing new chapters and overhauling/ditching existing ones.

Which is why this 3-week residence was and is such a boon.

Over the first two weeks I:
  • did a full read-through and mark-up in hard copy
  • writing a prologue (though it's not actually labelled as such)
  • expanded the first half of the novel (1st draft consisted of 10 chapters from the same character's p.o.v.; 2nd draft has two main characters alternating p.o.v. chapters)
  • re-ordering the 2nd half (told through v. many p.o.v. characters), adding some new ones, rejigging some others
  • doing a full read-through of this 2nd draft (using Microsoft Word's Read Through function - it's really good for picking up dumb typos and times when you've used too many words) and making necessary corrections and additions.
So the manuscript jumped up to 56,837 words (a net increase of 23,364), but any original words from the first draft really had to earn their keep.

I wasn't sure if I could achieve all of this in three weeks, but I knocked it off in two.

Which is great. Because now I am sick of that manuscript and can let it marinate again (and let some others read it) and it shouldn't be too far off.

And because that means I can also work on my second short story collection. Which is what I started doing today.

Well, I've written and published (and written and not published) many short stories since my first collection came out in 2010, and have had various word documents with my favourite selections combined since 2018 (with another flare up of activity in 2021). So the task isn't writing a shit ton more stories, it's re-assessing which ones should go in this collection and where the two or three gaps are that could/should be plugged by new stories.

Today I used the "Read Through" function to go through all the stories in my 2021 assemblage, plus a bunch I didn't think should make the cut back then (most of which I thought were good enough today, so I don't know, maybe I just love myself rn).

The biggest challenge is the majority of these stories were written closer to 2010 than 2024, so there really does need to be some new stuff. There's a story I have half-written that needs to be finished (it pairs directly with another story in the collection), and then there are two more stories I've written lots of notes for over the last 3-5 years, and just need to smash out.

So by the end of this next week, if I can add these three stories into the manuscript, that one might also be ready for other people to read.

After which, I may need a rest!

PS - all this writing means lots of listening to music, hence the longer than usual monthly playlist!

PPS - I've also done some exploring of the North Shore (and started an Instagram to share some of that stuff) and caught up with friends and family, so I have been going outside!!



BOOKS

Parade by Rachel Cusk (physical, novel, UK, 2024)
Second Place by Rachel Cusk (physical, novel, UK, 2021)
Kudos by Rachel Cusk (physical, novel, UK, 2018)
Transit by Rachel Cusk (e-book, novel, UK, 2016)

I had to review Parade, so I read/re-read a lot of Cusk in preparation. 

Doppelganer: A trip into the Mirror World by Naomi Klein (non-fiction, audiobook, US, 2023)

This proved to be very useful when working on the second draft of my novel, so I let a character name drop Klein.

It's way more personal (and scattershot - in a good way) that her earlier works. It could be a case of right book, right time, but I really liked it!!

Welcome to the Hyunam-dong Bookshop by Hwang Bo-reum (audiobook, novel, Korea, 2023)
Before the Coffee Gets Cold by Toshikazu Kawaguchi (audiobook, novel, Japan, 2019)

I've read too many bookshop/library-themed works this year. Sorry pals.

Palace of Shadows by Ray Celestin (audiobook, novel, UK, 2023)

I didn't think I'd like it. It seemed to be laying the gothic on really thick, but it did it really well.

Big Swiss by Jen Beagin (audiobook, novel, US, 2023)

Yeah! This was excellent. Funny, dark-at-times, possibly even profound. And it has dogs in it!

I really liked that the protagonist/narrator was late 40s (I think) but language and ideas still seemed to be alive to them. It felt true(ish) to my inner dialogue as a early 40s person. 

Totally unrelated negative-impulse: I don't want to Google how old Elizabeth Bennett's parents are in Pride and Prejudice...

Skippy Dies by Paul Murray (audiobook, novel, Ireland, 2011)

Another book I was on the fence about reading (having already committed many hours to listening to the very good, but very Irish Franzen-y The Bee Sting already this year).
Another book I ended up really enjoying. I think I preferred this to The Bee Sting because it's a bit less Franzen-y and because I myself have been grappling with a plot point not dissimilar to (not a spoiler, guys) Skippy dying!!!

(Maybe some months I my inner hater takes a holiday)

The Golden Spoon by Jessa Maxwell (audiobook, novel, UK, 2023)

A mash-up of cosy crime and reality baking shows. Does the baking stuff well enough, but the characters were pretty meh and structurally felt like the first death came way too late.

A Psalm for the Wild-Built by Becky Chambers (audiobook, novel, US, 2021)

Fantasy continues to be the steepest genre hill from my affections to climb.

Just Then by Harry Ricketts (physical book, poetry, NZ, 2012)

Along Blueskin Road by James Norcliffe (physical book, poetry, NZ, 2005)

FILM & TV
  • Hacks Season 3 - *makes a love heart symbol with his hands, then feels self-conscious*
  • Welcome to Wrexham Season 3 - good, but makes me hate the bandwagon Wrexham fans... I need to get an MK Dons jersey or something
  • Curb Your Enthusiasm - finished the final few eps of the final season, and also watched the Seinfield series finale (which I clearly hadn't seen before (yeeeeesh))
  • Prisoners
  • Dream Scenario
  • Blackberry
  • Atlas - No ma'am, unfinishable.
  • Unfrosted - Shouldn'thavefinishedbutIdidforsomereason

Sunday, December 31, 2023

Consumption Diary - September-December 2023

Four months. 

Dog dramas, kid conundrums, my own health hobblements (lingering costochondritis). 

A depressing election result and ever-more-depressing as the coalition of cut-backs moves into delivery (or de-delivery... livery?). 


But I am looking forward to making my best of 2023 lists, which means revisiting good stuff and wielding (imaginary) power. My sense is that it was a very good year for albums and post-prestige TV, but it will be slimmer pickin's on the reading front. 

Check back in early Jan (promises, promises) for the actual, official, lofty-but-also-wholesome-and-grounded, This Fluid Thrill 2023 awards.


MUSIC - SEPTEMBER & OCTOBER

Speaking of awards: best gig of the year was Black Belt Eagle Scout w/ Mount Eerie at the end of September. The official billing was BBES was supporting Mount Eerie, but BBES was who I was excited about and they didn't disappoint (despite being limited to a two piece due to the cost of gigging crisis). And then said two-piece formed the backing band for Mount Eerie (normally just Phil Elverum) and they rocked out way more than I expected.

Also, pour one out for Dive, just one more Dunedin venue to fall by the wayside.

BOOKS

Exit Stage Left: The Curious Afterlife of Pop Stars by Nick Duerden (non-fiction, audiobook)

Bodies: Life and Death in Music by Ian Winwood (non-fiction, audiobook)

This Is Memorial Device by David Keenan (novel, audiobook) - been on a bit of a music book kick lately.

The Fifth Season: The Broken Earth, Book 1 by N. K. Jemisin (novel, audiobook)


Stolen Focus: Why You Can't Pay Attention by Johann Hari (non-fiction, audiobook)

I put off reading Hari's previous book, Lost Connections, which was about depression, for almost two years, but when I did it caused a minor breakthrough in my own personal life. I noted the changes I made when I put Lost Connections in my top ten reads of 2020.

(Interestingly, I had forgotten Hari's book had any role in the decisions I made in 2020/21 until I went back and re-read the two posts linked to above.)

I did a similar thing with Hari's next book, Stolen Focus. It took be about a year to start listening to it, and then I had to stop after two chapters because it felt too close to the bone listening to this as an audiobook while doing dishes, cycling or some other activity that probably should be an opportunity for meditative reflection. About ten months later I returned to it, mainly because I plan on cancelling my Audible subscription (dirty ol' Amazon) and felt obliged.

Am I going to quit social media now? It's not like I'm massively online. But I do think I'll download Freedom app to cut off the internet for designated periods. 

So Late in the Day by Claire Keegan
(standalone short story, audiobook) - I loved Foster. I liked Small Things Like These. But So Late in the Day wasn't for me. It's a short story. Why is it a standalone book? It's not enough. It's too on the nose. It needs to be surrounded by sibling stories that complement and contrast and round off some of the nosey edges.

The Bell by Iris Murdock (novel, audiobook) - Loved it.

Jewish Space Lasers by Mike Rothschild (non-fiction, audiobook)

The Rachel Incident by Caroline O'Donoghue (novel, audiobook)

  • The Hard Way (10th Reacher novel) by Lee Child (novel, audiobook)

  • High Heat by Lee Child (standalone short story, audiobook) - After reading another Reacher novel, and falling out with Claire Keegan, I checked out a standalone Reacher short for comparison. Funnily enough, I have more vivid recollection of this story than The Hard Way.

  • Norse Mythology by Neil Gaiman (umm, audiobook) - sorry, I just can't get into the work of someone who signs off as Neil Gaiman, visionary.

  • Āria by Jessica Hinerangi (poetry, e-book)

  • Classic American Poetry by various authors (poetry, audiobook)

  • Dear Girls by Ali Wong (non-fiction, audiobook)

  • The Dawnhounds by Sascha Stronach (novel, audiobook)

  • Fungi of Aotearoa: A Curious Forager's Field Guide by Liv Sisson (non-fiction, physical book) 

  • My Christmas present to myself. The first few chapters felt repetitive, perhaps worsened by the fact I'd previously read many of the books Sisson uses for reference (Robin Wall Kimmerer, Melvyn Sheldrake, Michael Pollen, plus work on Hua Parakore). 

  • And when I got home after my trip to Queenstown, it had clearly been a wet week in Dunedin and my lawn was sprouting 'shrooms... though I couldn't find them using this field guide :( 

  • Might have to go back to those early chapters!!

  • Bluebeard by Kurt Vonnegut (novel, physical book)


  • My final read of the year was my first re-read (and one of only a couple of physical books). It was on the shelf at the house we rented in Queenstown between Xmas and New Years. I'd recently rediscovered the mini-essay I wrote for the Iowa City Writers Festival in 2013: The Vonnegut Effect: Entering the Potato Barn, when Academic.com wanted to add it to my profile (LOL). So of course I dived back into the world of Rabo Karabekian.

  • The thing that stood out to me this time around was the pacing, specifically the way new characters are introduced throughout the novel. It's so measured. And there's no wasted characters (Sam Wu, Celeste, Fred Jones). It'd be cool to graph all of the character mentions, like Ngrams, and visualise way the supporting cast are rolled out...


  • FILM & TV

  • A Murder at the End of the World - I loved the OA, for all it's rough edges and over-reaches. A Murder at the End of the World was not it. Bad dialogue. Obvious big bad. 

  • Squid Game: The Challenge - Season 1

  • Bodies - Limited Series

  • Last Stop Larrimah

  • Taskmaster UK Season 16

  • Taskmaster Australia Season 1

  • Welcome to Wrexham Season 2

  • Alone Seasons 7-9

  • Stavros Halkias: Fat Rascal

  • T2 Trainspotting

  • Rudy

  • Music and Lyrics

  • The Lost City

  • Sport (basketball, rugby and cricket world cups, start of another NBA season: GO KINGS, and some NFL)


  • PRODUCTION INTERLUDE

  • I'll be taking up a 3-week mini-residency at the Michael King Writers Centre in Auckland at the start of winter next year.

  • My review of Pip Adam's Audition was published in November. (Minor disappointment: they didn't use my suggested title: "Grow, Don't Tell").

  • In December, I took part in a Creative Impact Lab on Climate Change, hosted by the Otago Museum and funded by the Leonardo Institute/US Embassy. It runs through to February, so we'll see where it goes...

  • Oh, and the story the opens my debut (and thus far only) short story collection, 'Seeds', was included in the Penguin New Zealand Anthology: 50 stories for 50 years in Aotearoa. Must be time to corral a second story collection and give the anthologists some new options!



  • MUSIC - NOVEMBER & DECEMBER

  • Tuesday, February 14, 2017

    Through the embers: Fortnight 1 of the Burns




    1.

    I wrote 4,266 words over 7 writing days (week one started on a Wednesday; week two started on a Tuesday due to family being down for Waitangi weekend). All of my efforts were spent on two short stories: the bio story I mentioned in my previous post and another story, which I selected from the master list of things to write that I compiled. Let's call this story 'Robinson'.

    Both stories are progressing, but I wonder if they aren’t too similar. I might have to write a third story (less arch, less ‘laugh at him, now comfort him’) this month to bring a bit more balance to my output and exorcise one more set of ghosts before I dive back into THE LOCATION SCOUT.

     

    2.


    I will tire of fire-related puns soon enough.


    3. This is where it all happens

    Parting shot from last year's fellow
    (possibly how I contracted this punning disorder)

    My desk, my Mac, my mess

    The gravity-forced attrition method of choosing which story to write next.
    Helps when you have off-brand Post-its.
    My magnolia

    At first I thought it was a bible, but it's The Poems and Songs of Robert Burns.
    Thanks Victor!
    My morning ride

    It's always like this...
    Except when it's like this (hail from yesterday's weather bomb)

    It's official. Come & visit!

    4.

    One consequence of all this newfound writing time is I need to spend more time finding new (or remembered) music to add to my ‘Working’ playlist. Which is not a chore at all. 

    If given the option of not being able to read any more, and not being able to listen to music, I'd choose not reading. Not happily, or lightly, but I would.


    5. Further exploits in procrastination

    I found myself searching online for a coffee mug. I considered personalising one to commemorate my year in Otago. Like, a picture of Mr Burns from the Simpsons with the caption: ‘Burns Fellow’... something so lame and obvious that I managed to snap myself out of it. 

    So I’m still using the dinky little Arcoroc cup I found in the dinky little kitchenette and having to make too many trips to make tea during my day and maybe I will end up ordering something in another moment of weakness.

     
    6. You can never step on the same wildlife cruise twice.


    Over the long weekend, I took my wife, kids and in-laws on the Monarch Wildlife Cruise, which goes out round Harrington Point at the end of the Otago Peninsula. 

    We saw fur seals,a seal lion eating a squid, nesting shags endemic to Otago, Bullers albatross, Southern Royals, a couple other mollymawk species, nellies, terns. No spoonbills or Hectors dolphins like my first trip five years ago. Still a good haul, but nowhere near as much fun as the first time for all manner of reasons.

    Giant petrel taking off

    Sea lion with black-backed gull

    White capped albatross
    Compare and contrast with our trip to Tunnel Beach at the end of Jan. No bird or marine mammal sightings of note. When we got down to the beach it was high tide so there was no sand to stand on. My son decided he didn’t like being carried on the way back up, nor did he feel like walking. For the last 500 metres (which is at a 15 degree gradient) I carried him like an inconsolable lamb.



    And that trip was fricken great. The kind of day one should be careful not to sully by rushing back again too quickly.

    Everyone enjoyed it, honest

    7. Research highlight

    An article by Catrien Santing on Pope Benedict XIV, who is often held up as a supporter of the enlightenment, but also canonised a bunch of folks who did some science-defying stuff, including my boy San Giuseppe da Copertino.

    The article was titled ‘Tirami su’.

    I never really thought about whether the name of the dish meant anything (maybe it was a place, or a person), but when I translated it (Pick me up / Lift me up / Raise me up) the phrase made sense for a coffee-soaked dessert and an article about a levitating friar.

    Pity I can’t stand coffee, and gag at the sight, smell, mention of tiramisu.


    8.

    8.1 - I went to an open lecture on Brexit, Trump and the rise of populism. It was interesting. I'm still trying to figure out how contemporary I make THE LOCATION SCOUT. Like, is it Feb 2017 and two non-Italians are driving around Italy talking about the Muslim ban and the precariousness of the Euro? 

    *Shrug*
    Open lecture

    8.2 - I was on a panel with two other writers about the writing process here at the university. It was mostly about how we find the time to write. I've tried a lot of different things, working around different work and family situations.

    My current situation, I have to say, is pretty sweet.


    Tuesday, January 31, 2017

    Sit back and watch me burn

    View of Ocean Beach (St Kilda and St Clair) from Lawyers Head, Dunedin, today.

    ¡Hhhhh!

    That’s the sound of this blog taking its first gasp of air after a jolt from a pair of defibrillator paddles.

    To what do we owe this resurrection? The Robert Burns Fellowship at the University of Otago, that’s what.

    I’m sitting in a room in the house I’ve rented for twelve months in the Dunedin suburb of Shiel Hill, just around the corner from Every Street where the Bain’s tumbledown house stood before it was razed 17 days after the murders.

    This room has a desk and a double bed, and will accommodate visitors when the guest room next door is already occupied. 

    The set up at my new home
     (note the completely blank Word document on the screen on the right)

    I will have an office in the university’s Arts Building from tomorrow (the residency starts officially on 1 Feb), and I plan to go there every weekday to bash at a keyboard with reckless abandon. But I also plan to sit here, in my 2nd guest room in my temporary Southern home, in the early hours of the morning, while my wife, daughter and son sleep. I want to return to my 5am starts, even though I am suddenly time rich, because I know how time can slip away once the kids wake and a thousand little chores and cellphone alerts shunt me further from the calmness that is the spine of why we’ve come here: to write.

    What will I write? (This is the bit you bookmark and come back in 12 months to fling in my face or, for the modern Democrituses, just have a good laugh).

    I want to finish my novel about a location scout and a levitating saint. The working title is, unimaginatively, THE LOCATION SCOUT. When I say 'finish', it implies I’ve started it, which is one kind of true. I’ve researched stuff like the life of St Joseph of Cupertino, location scouting, screenwriting, the life and work of Martin Scorcese (on whom I’m loosely basing the benevolent director in the book). And I have a few chapters, composed in 2015, before my infant son began to wake at 5am and crowded out the last of my writing time (and energy). Re-reading these chapters last month, I suspect they are all bound for the recycle bin, and I'll need to reacquaint myself with my Pastrovicchi and the latest trends in VFX.

    I won’t worry too much about moving the wordcount forward on the novel until March, though.

    February I plan to exercise my dormant writing muscles by working on two short stories. One of which is, like THE LOCATION SCOUT: something I’ve broken ground on but stalled. Let’s call this ‘the Bio story’. The second story exists only as a series of to do list items:
    • Go through notebooks, spreadsheets, draft emails and Evernote to catalogue short story ideas
    • Choose 2nd story to write in Feb
    • Write 2nd story
    These stories will be added to the pile of my published and unpublished stories since I put together A MAN MELTING (*takes a moment to compose himself after realising it’ll be nine years in September since AMM was accepted for publication*), from which I will, eventually, produce another story collection.

    The view from my home office, looking towards St Clair
    (taken 1 hour before the stormy photo at the start of this post)
    By the end of the year, if my writing muscles come back lithe and limber, I may have two finished manuscripts: a novel and a story collection. Or not. Two finished manuscripts is only one version of a successful year.

    The novel may take longer. It may need longer, deserve longer. So long as it has 12 (okay, 11) months worth of good progress, then that’s success too.

    I may become possessed by another idea and produce part or all of a different manuscript. This scenario would involve much angst and self-flagellation, but it’s conceivable I’d come out the other end and be happy with my year’s work. But it’s certainly not Plan A.

    I’ll also try to post here more often. After only one post last year, that won’t be hard. In the order of one or two posts a month about life in Dunedin and how I’m getting on. Maybe the books I read on those afternoons I’m done writing for the day. Certainly the music I’m listening to while I work.

    Blogging is part of the recipe for a successful year. Not the quality of the blogging (!), just the exercise. It’s no coincidence that it's also nine years since I tried to write a million words in a year (and failed with distinction). What I learnt from that process was that writing of any kind begets writing. Having ideas begets more ideas. Being chained to a keyboard and forcing yourself to write when bored leads to production. And some of that production is good. Some of it is dross, mind.

    This post is me clearing my throat and flexing my metacarpals to ready me for work on the Bio story.

    So forgive this. All this. It’s what I’ve always done online: exhale myself so I can inhale more exciting thoughts and words for my stories. That, and create discoverable, binding-but-not-that-binding deals with the universe about how productive I will be.

    Monday, December 23, 2013

    What the brochures don't tell you: my time at the International Writing Program


    Writers reflected, 'Cloud Gate', Chicago

    I spent nearly four months in the U.S., most of it in Iowa City participating in the International Writing Program (IWP). I managed to write a couple of short stories, one of which will appear in the Griffith Review next year (it was originally going to be the upcoming NZ-themed issue, but they reckon it fits better thematically with their ‘Cultural Solutions’ issue…), so that aspect of my writing residency was worthwhile and successful.

    (I also continued to write my fortnightly column for the Dom Post while I was away, covering Iowa fashions, what to say (and what not) when asked what you think of Iowa, the Tri-State rodeo, New Orleans, Halloween, being a working parent (even if “work” = being a writer in residence) and Washington DC. I also co-wrote an article on New Orleans for a website dedicated to, uh, New Orleans.)

    But the IWP is unlike other residencies in its focus and scale, its history and ulterior motives. Writing – the act of getting new work down on paper or as pixels – was rarely mentioned as there was so much else going on.

    I didn’t blog about the IWP at the time because:
    a) I was writing short stories and columns like a good boy
    b) there were heaps of other events to eat up my time
    c) I was squeezing familymanhood into the slivers of residency downtime, and
    d) it was a confusing time that I figured would be easier to dissect once I was out of the frying pan.

    So, here’s my take on the IWP and Iowa City.

    Writers arriving at Shambaugh House, home of the IWP, for the first time.

    Busy busy

    The IWP is a pick-a-path residency. If you don’t have fun, you only have yourself (and your decisions) to blame.

    From August to November there were 35 writers from 31 countries in Iowa City. The 10-week program (I’m going to stick to US spelling for the p-word, since that’s how they roll) organised two 1-hour readings per week featuring IWP writers, as well as a bunch of other panels and one-off events.

    My reading at Shambaugh House

    The IWP also offered participants trips to a rodeo, an organic farm with remnant patch of prairie, Burial Mounds National Park, a pot luck barn dance, the Kalona fall festival and a big community dinner at another farm. We also got to go to either New Orleans or San Francisco for five-days midway through the residency and almost all of us went to Chicago, Washington DC and New York City at the end of the program.

    In addition to this, the writers also organised their own weekly salon and fiction writers held weekly meetings to talk about their craft, as did poets. Then there were the impromptu chats in the Iowa House common room (the hotel where most of us stayed) and the dinners for various cultures and ethnic groups (the Chinese contingent was in particularly high demand for these).

    Apart from giving one public reading, appearing on one panel discussion and talking to one undergrad class (and all the tedious administration stuff that occupies most of the first week of the program), all other activities were optional. If you wanted to lock yourself away and break the back of your novel in 10 weeks, you could. If you wanted to experience everything outside your hotel room that was on offer, you could.

    Writers wade through the prairie

    Early on I made the decision to err on the side of doing too much away from my desk. I figured there’ll be plenty of time to write over the next 45 years (retirement age of 75 for a writer sounds about right, I reckon) but being in Iowa for the Fall semester and being with those 34 other writers was likely to be a once in a lifetime deal.

    And I don’t regret that decision. Was every reading great? No. Were all the trips worth the effort? Probably not (but they all had redeeming features). Was every night I spent drinking with other writers critical to my development as a writer and a human being? Of course it was!

    So, if you’re reading this and think you might one day end up as an IWP participant, focus on these things above. For all the qualms I may have had, if you don’t make your time in Iowa worthwhile, you only have yourself to blame.

    International Riding Program contingent at the Tri-State Rodeo

    Uncle Sam wants you!

    I was an outlier on the program, in that Creative NZ (our arts funding body) paid for my participation, rather than the US Department of State or an embassy.

    The logic of the State Department shelling out hundreds of thousands of dollars to bring farflung writers to the wholesome midwest runs something like this: Writers play an important role in shaping public discourse. If a writer gets to experience US culture firsthand, they may be more predisposed to favourable opinions about the US and its actions that may be disseminated in their home country.

    (Also, if they really like the US, they’ll stay and enrich the US stock of creative talent.)

    The wizards behind the curtain know that this scheming will only pay dividends in a handful of cases. But one or two US advocates out of 35 writers a year must seem like money well spent (the program has run since the 1967).

    Of course, some of those 35 writers come from unproblematic countries like New Zealand and Finland. At times it felt like we were there as camouflage. Pawns in the pursuit of plausible deniability.

    Hiking up the bluff, Burial Mounds National Park

    I should add that several of the writers on the program suffered from mental illness (a number openly spoke about their struggles with depression, paranoia and panic attacks, and the various drugs they did and didn’t take in order to function), making the IWP a hotbed for conspiracy theories and persecution complexes. But out of the frying pan and back in New Zealand, the cynical underpinning of the program remains apparent.

    Of course, the program sells itself in a rather different light, as “a unique conduit for the world’s literatures, connecting well-established writers from around the globe, bringing international literature into classrooms…” (IWP website). It also talks up the way it gives Americans (mostly Iowa City residents) a taste of other cultures and literatures. This side of the program also privileges the exotic (in an often icky, post-colonial / imperial way). Writers who speak and write in languages other than English are prized above garden variety anglophones.

    The myth-making of the IWP was most painfully clear whenever the director, Christopher Merrill spoke. He’d introduce people by their country over their art, and became especially animated whenever a writer was the first from their country to take part in the program (ie Burundi, Kuwait, Bahrain). The only exception was when he learnt some snippet about a writer that tickled him (the fact one writer was a bank manager back home; one writer had 49 published books). Never did he penetrate into the question of whether producing 49 books was a good thing in terms of quality (let alone the messages contained within those books).

    The art of inequality in the arts

    Now, as a white, middle class, male anglophone writer from a country with a decent relationship with the US, being paid for by my own country's arts funding body, I was always going to be on the periphery of such a program. I was offered the bare minimum in terms of opportunities to present my work: one 20-minute reading (mandatory), one session at the Iowa City Book Festival (mandatory), one appearance at the International Literature Today class for Iowa undergrads (mandatory), talking to a class of high school kids in New Orleans (5 writers per class, featuring all writers who went to New Orleans) and a 45 minute talk I gave to a bunch of retirees at the Senior College.

    Kurt Vonnegut session at Iowa City Book Festival

    Okay, that doesn’t sound too bad, but remember we’re talking 10 weeks, and the fact there were readings at parties, dinners, receptions, schools, and other reading series around Iowa City…

    I wasn’t the only writer who felt like they were being overlooked and under-utilised on the program (I’d say 50-60% of the writers complained about it at some point; 10% complained often and at length). It wasn’t just about exoticism. Some of those writers who were well-utilised were three or more of the following: white, male, middle class and wrote in English.

    Some people inside the IWP even commented, toward the end of the 10 weeks, about the inequitable opportunities being offered. “X is always reading. Y hasn't even read yet,” etc etc. The observation is completely true, but I don’t agree that every writer should be given equal airtime. I don’t.

    Even though the bar is set high-ish by the fact you have to be selected to attend the IWP’s fall residency, there will always be a huge variation in the talent within any collection of 35 writers. Some were only one or two books into their careers (a couple not even that far). Others were five or six or 49 books in. Many had won prizes and been on residencies in foreign countries before. Some were invited by universities on either coast to give talks while they were in the US.

    There were no out and out rock stars, but some were well on that path.

    Poets reading at Poet's House, NYC

    My objection is that the inequitable distribution of opportunities didn’t always align with talent. There was favouritism for poets over prosers and the exotic over the anglophone. The people who got to pick and choose who read when didn’t sufficiently engage with all the writers’ work (I’m talking not reading our 10 page writing samples… I don’t expect them to have read all our books) and were happy to base their selections on hunches and dehumanising factors.

    In saying all this, I'm thinking mostly about New Zealand writers who might apply for this residency in the future. Forewarned is forearmed and all that. And of course I'm a bit biased. I was miffed because I wanted more of the spotlight than I got. And, really, it means very little in the scheme of things. There were never any book sales tables at events (most, like me, didn’t have US publishers, so there was little impetus to move stock). And most of the time writers were being paraded as anthropological specimens rather than writers. My career is in no worse shape for having done 5 things instead of 15. My ego was hurt and that’s all.

    I believed (and still do) that I was one of the better writers on the program. That given 5 or 50 minutes to read from my work, I’d entertain a crowd. This may read as arrogance, but it’s an important part of what gets me up at 5am every morning. The voice that says: I’m good at this. I have things to say and I’m going to work my butt off until this page sings.

    Being on the periphery of the IWP reminded me of this. It hurt to feel like a neglected manque rock star. The only way to avoid this again is to fucking write a rock star book.

    Sometimes a bruise or two to your ego is just what the doctor ordered.

    Octagonal barn, decked out for a barn dance and pot-luck dinner

    The Iowa City Vortex

    Since returning to NZ and my day-job (from which I took leave without pay to bugger off to Iowa), I’ve been asked dozens of times: “Was it worthwhile?”

    I start by saying what I said at the beginning of this post: I got to write, I got to meet interesting people and talk about interesting things, and a got to travel around.

    Then I say: But 10 weeks was long enough on the program, and four months was long enough to be in the States.

    As a group, the IWP writers got on really well. There were simmering tensions, of course. Some of which, if I summarised here, might sound reductive and dehumanising (national/cultural/religious stuff). Other tensions were much more human (‘Are they…*cough*?’ ‘Are they?’ ‘I don’t know, I was just asking…’). Nothing boiled over until the final week, though another week or two and all bets would be off.

    Then there’s the fact that Iowa City is not the real world. There are writers’ bars (George’s, The Foxhead) where everyone is a writing student or a writer. The attractive undergrads in their skimpy clothes smoking outside are talking about the way John Berryman breaks a line. Suddenly, a knowledge of poetry is a help not a hindrance if you’re wanting to ‘make friends’. That kind of sudden reversal can do a writer’s head in.

    University of Iowa President's Block Party, first week of the fall semester.

    After two weeks, we’d walk around town and it’d be impossible to avoid seeing people we knew, either writers, student, academics, people who ran a speaking agency for writers or hosted writers for dinner or liked to attend every reading on offer (for some it seemed a useful sleeping aid).

    At the end of the residency, a handful of writers elected to stay in Iowa City for the 30 days their J-1 visas allowed them to linger in the States. From their Facebook posts (“What am I still doing here?”) it seems they spent much of that time chasing their own tails – living the life of a writer without the extended network of the IWP, and hemmed in by the onset of winter.

    Staying in Iowa City long term, you’d inevitably become an insular, important-to-a-select-few-Iowa-City-residents-who’ve-secretly-lost-the-joy-of-reading writer, still chasing your own tail.

    Hell is getting too much of what you want. Time to write, a community of writers, bars exclusively for writers… Sounds great, right.

    I’m not joking when I say that it was nice to come back to Wellington, get up at 5am and cram in 1.5 hours writing (my daughter wakes at 6.30am these days, and I’ve yet to convince myself 4:30am starts are necessary) then go to work as an (Acting) Chief Policy Analyst. To have friends who couldn’t give a fuck about Anthony Marras. To edge into another summer in time for Christmas parties and fishing trips, and know that I’m going to keep carving out time to write, and that the internal combustion engine that powers “the work” (a phrase popular in Iowa City and among IWP-ers that I promise not to use again) isn’t dependent on external validation or the encouragement of the person in the hotel room next door.

    Declining comment

    There’s more I could write about my time away. Life in the Midwest. Travel during the residency. My roadtrip down the Mississippi. But I fear a lot of it will be tinged with the same jaundiced tint.

    I don’t want to sound ungrateful. Or even as if I didn’t thoroughly enjoy it. I’ll come back to this experience again and again, in fiction and non-fiction. I’ve filled the tank, as Joss Whedon would say.

    America is so much about image and myth, that of course the most interesting parts are where the reality diverges most violently from message.

    Killing time at New Orleans airport

    When I got home the lemon tree I planted last spring looked as if it hadn’t enjoyed the winter frosts or spring winds. It had two leaves left, but on closer inspection its spindly branches all terminated in buds. Within two days, the tree was in full blossom, giving its all for one last stab at life and procreation.

    Being in the US during the government shutdown and the bankruptcy of Detroit, and driving through innumerable boarded-up towns and finding the only commerce in chain stores and restaurants on the arterial routes leading out of the withered heart, it’s hard not to think of it as an ailing country, a terminal culture. And perhaps those places of activity and light, like Iowa City, are attempts to stave off this decline. Perhaps it’s all in vain. Perhaps not. But it is interesting.